Wordful Wednesday - Monkey See, Monkey Do

" You look MARVELOUS darling, simply MARVELOUS"

It's surreal to me that in his short 12 months Noah has picked up on so many things. Lately he's been doing things like picking up the phone and "talking," using his spoon to feed his animals, and using the remote to try and turn on the tv. Hmmmm perhaps mommy has been talking on the phone, eating and watching a bit too much tv in front of the little man. Sigh.I guess I'd better stop throwing those f-bombs around....

Anyways, if you want proof that I actually can be a decent mama, watch this video. I wasn't shitting you about his pretend play. Um, I mean "pooping" you.

Love in a Handbag

Today I was tagged by two fun loving bloggers. One tag asked me to spread a little love and the other to post about the handbag I used today. I think love and handbags go extremely well together, so here is my attempt to blend the bliss of both.

My bloggy buddy over at Tiaras and Tantrums is a fashionable mama with a closet full of handbags and a fantastically fun outlook on life. Any lady who can rock a PADLOCK on her Chloe handbag has got my vote for fashionista of the year!

Here are her rules:

1) "Post a picture of whatever bag you are carrying as of late. No, you cannot go up to your closet and pull out that cute little purse you used back before you had kids. I want to know what you carried today or the last time you left the house."

I awoke at 5am to the sound of pellets hitting my house. It was hail! Today was one of the rare days in SoCal were we actually had some "weather." I toted my Burberry, because the purse I ususally carry is leather and "water + leather = bad words." This bag has held up against snow, rain, spit-up and cat pee (don't leave your purse next to the cat carrier on the floor of your car when you are going to the vet and your cat is VERY VERY pissed off.) A can of Febreeze later, I am able to carry it once again!




2)" I want to know how much it cost:) And this is not to judge. This is for entertainment purposes only. So spill it. And if there is a story to go along with how you obtained it, I’d love to hear it."

The explanation for why I was carrying it being said, I would like to qualify this post with the fact that that is BY FAR the fanciest purse I own. It was a Valentine's day gift from HH three years ago, so I am not sure how much exactly it cost. I can tell you it cost way more than the Banana Republic bag I got on sale ($65.00) that I usually carry.

Just because, I included a picture of what's inside my purse today. I think what people lug around with them says a lot. Peak inside, make some projections. :)

3)" Tag some chicks. And link back to this post so people know why the heck you’re showing everyone your diaper bag/non-diaper bag."

Let the blending begin!

Natalie at Little Shindigs has a blog with fantastic party ideas! You need to check out the pirate party pics, wow- I am in awe! Anyways, she asked me to tag bloggers that I LUV. That is totally hard! I LUV so many! But I am going to tag buddies who I think will have some interesting things in their bags. Yes, I am nosy. So here goes:

Summer @ Le Musings of Moi

Rachael @ Little Bites of Heaven

DiPaola Momma @ Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom

Jen @ Buried with Children

Bar-b @ I Heart 2 Girls

Generally I tagged peeps with two or more kiddos. I am interested to see what "tools" I may need in the future. ;)

Baby Got Back

I have posted before on Noah's love of dancing. Here is the latest in his dance moves repertoire. The song is called "Popcorn" and he is "shaking it up." During the chorus he even says "pop, pop, pop" a few times, but you can't really see it because I was trying to hide.

Most of the video is of his back. Once the kid notices the camera he dives for it, pulled into the vortex of "things he isn't supposed to play with, but just can't help himself." I still think it's pretty cute.

Trolling For Nannies

I am ashamed to admit that I thought way too much about what I looked like today. I searched the depths of the laundry for my "cute" jeans. I found my trendy, but comfortable sneakers. I even broke my "weekdays are for ponytails" rule and gave my hair a brushing!

All for what? Because today I was going nanny hunting! I am looking to start working part time again which has lead me on a quest to find:

• A nanny with a sweet demeanor. Screaming drill sergeants need not apply.
• An engaged caretaker. For example, please refrain from texting or emailing while baby is creeping into the street, eating dog poop, etc.
• A nanny with a light touch. Picking up Noah by one arm (did you guys see that hidden nanny cam video? yikes!) is NOT ok.

Basically if he is happy and alive at the end of the day, we are good to go.

In my quest to find Noah's new nanny, I wanted to at least look like (um, fake) that I have it somewhat together. I wanted to portray "fun and responsible," and not at all d-e-s-p-e-r-a-t-e. I find people tend to want to work for you more when they think you aren't an insomniac with a dirty house. Insert hastily ironed clothing and makeup to cover dark circles.

Where would I find this magical stand-in mommy? Our community tot-park of course! The best place to see a nanny in action is when she is surrounded by kids (does this make me a stalker? probably). So after lunch I threw on my "I am totally not spying on you" sunglasses, grabbed Noah and headed to the park.

Jackpot! There were tons of kids there! I spied the potentials:

Nanny A looked promising! She was sitting with her kiddos in the sand and playing cars. They seemed to be having a great time until "Rrrrriiinnnnggg" her mobile rang and a string of "wtf!?" and "omfg!" flew out of her mouth. Ummm, no. Not someone I want my kid learning to talk from.

Nanny B was obviously overwhelmed chasing back and forth between two dogs and two kids. She was sweating and had a constant look of worry around her eyes. I don't think I could pay that poor woman enough to make it worth her while.

Nanny C I didn't even bother watching. One glance at the three shoeless kids, one playing in the fire pit and the baby eating sand made me want to pick up the kidlets and call their mama.

The best nannies I saw today seemed to be related to the kids. In fact, I think most were mommies. (I managed to sneak in a "Oh they are adorable! Are they yours?" a few times to find the answer was, "yes, they are mine." sigh.)

I refuse to give up this easily. I was a nanny for 3 years and I managed to not kill any of the 4 kids I took care of. Noah's nanny is out there and I will find her!

So I'd better throw those "I am so fun, come work for me!" jeans in the wash. Next week I'll be trolling for nannies once more.

Tuesday's Tribute

Being a bit of attention seeking a-hole, I haven't taken much time to use my blog for anything besides ranting about my own personal mommy woes. Thank you Jay for reminding me that "it isn't all about me."

On that happy note, I would like to dedicate my first Tuesday's Tribute to another smart cookie, my grandmother - my sunshine, the warmth shining down on me from heaven.

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Lessons from Grandma

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy, when skies are gray.
You’ll never know dear how much I love you,
So please don’t take my sunshine away.”

These are the words that rocked me to sleep at Grandma’s house. They play softly in my mind whenever I think of her. From the time I was born, my grandmother was the sunshine in my day. She was unconditional warmth, surrounding me like a security blanket, allowing me to feel safe and loved. Under her love I blossomed and grew. At two I was tap dancing in the kitchen, by five riding the kiddie coasters gripping her hand, by ten we were taking adventures to cities I’d never dreamed I would go.

Time spent in the yellow house was a time of hidden treasures and laughter. At Grandma’s house we were always "on vacation." From sneaking Oreos in the cookie jar, to staying up past our bedtime playing Bingo, we got away with things that we couldn't at home. When asked for pancakes for dinner, Grandma would say, “Why not, you’re on vacation!”

At Grandma's house I learned a something I carry with me daily. It's the sweet, silly things in life that make life worth living. Yes, I learned to do many new things; how to bake lemon cake, how to dance the polka, how to play Rummy 500. But it was those first bites of a cake we had baked, whirling around the room to ‘Bring Out the Barrels,” and cheering when we had reached 500 that made me understand what being alive should feel like.

I wonder now how my grandma put up with my sister and I, buzzing about the house, creating messes with glitter and glue, never making our beds, and digging holes in the back yard. If these things bothered her, she never said a word. It is in this demonstration of patience and understanding that I learned another lesson. I learned the meaning of unconditional love.

And so Grandma, I will not say goodbye. Each moment of happiness I have, you are there. Every time I dance, ride a roller coaster, or just sit and enjoy the sweet, silly things in life, you are sitting beside me, smiling. And when I put your great-grandson, who you never got to meet, to bed at night I sing to him with with you in my heart, “You are my sunshine.”

Beam Me Up, Snotty!

Ugh. Another case of the snotties. Tried to capture the fantastic boogey bubble erupting out of his left nostril, but he popped it at the last minute with his fingers (which then went directly into his eye)....

Anyways, Mama's got it too. Good thing you can't get any REAL viruses over the computer.

Hope you are all feeling well this week!

Family Time Values

Sunglasses, sunscreen and a water bottle: $20

Fancy hiking backpack we've only used twice: $130

Climbing to the highest point in the county only to ignore the breathtaking view and be fascinated by the rocks on the ground: Priceless

A Satisfying Swig

Warning: This post contains ranting. Though I typically rant, I am not usually quite so angry. Sip at your own risk.

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Dear Fancy-Pants Pediatrician,

Yes, you are very, very smart. Yes, you went to Berkley and were the chief of pediatrics at a prestigious hospital. Yes, you have been nominated as TOP PED for our county 5 years in a row now. Please accept this cookie as a token of my acknowledgment of your many accomplishments .

You done with that cookie yet?

Now, while your success entitles you to many things (including the Porsche parked in the doctor lot), it DOES NOT entitle you to:

• Treat parents as if they are idiots. Your reference to believing in Dr. Sears' vaccine book is akin to "believing the world is flat" was VERY INSULTING. May I remind you that doctors once believed that leeches were the cure for many ailments. You can see how well that worked out.
• Perhaps it would also be nice to know SOMETHING, ANYTHING about the child's parents. If you tell this former kinder teacher one more time to "read to your child daily" I am going hit you upside the head with my copy of The Hungry Caterpillar.
• Develop some sort of bedside manner. That 2 second hand shake when you walk in might also be nice followed by a "How are you guys doing?" "What's Noah up to lately?" "How was his birthday?" Maybe pat Noah on the head, give him a hug, perhaps SMILE? Maybe just start with smile, we don't want to have to pay extra or anything.

All these requests are to be fulfilled ASAP. This mommy is currently searching for a new pediatrician. And while you may have lost this family, you wouldn't want it to get around that you are an arrogant a-hole. It may tarnish that crown just a bit.

Sincerely,

Noah's Mommy

Wordful Wednesday - Me Smash Cake!

One

Two

Three

Oh the thrill of having your very own cake (and using your hands to eat it!)

This weekend we celebrated Noah's 1st birthday with some of his little buddies at the local My Gym. We all had a fantastic time. There was a puppet show, some dancing and tumbling, and even a zip-line for the kiddies. Check out Noah on the zip-line. He was none too excited. But I think his experience eating pizza and cake more than made up for it!

What a fun day it was!

Leave It To Beaver : Napping Strike Explained

Question : "How much wood would a wood chuck, chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

My reply: "I dunno. Is he getting his molars in?"

Poor Noah and my poor crib. That kid ripped the teething guard off and threw it across the room. No wonder he hasn't been sleeping, he's been a busy little beaver!

Writing Prompt - 6 Degrees of Marriage

(Ok, I know it's early, but we are having some fantastic napping strikes, so it's now or never!)

Kat's prompt I chose this week was to get someone you love to describe you in 6 words. Immediately I am instant messaging HH at work so I could get this post in before Noah wakes up from his much needed nap, which may have led him to his first adjective of:

• Anxious - Tell me you share in the feeling that kids yield anxiety. Yes, they bring love and joy and blah blah blah, but they also leave you with thoughts of "Is my kid breathing, tired, hungry, sad, etc?" constantly in the back of your mind. Last night I couldn't sleep because I was worried about Noah being too cold in his room...and we live in California.


• Sweet - To be this worried all the time, one must either be crazy (which hasn't been clinically diagnosed just yet) or care a lot. I like to think I am sweet because I care a whole bunch about our family.


• Determined - Dear "To Do List," I heart you.


• Pesky- Imagine puppies and other mischievous, high energy creatures. I like to poke at HH (generally when he is tired), just to get a grumpy-faced reaction. Sarah C., thank you for teaching me how to give a "pencil sharpener" -Oh, what fun!


• Challenging- A nice way to say "High Maintenance."


• Tender- The moments I do calm down, I guess I can be a bit of a snuggle bug. But that is after the laundry is done, the kitchen is clean, Noah is sleeping, etc.

Wow, I sound like a winner. Good thing I snagged him in my college "care-free" days. I don't think this list would work too well in the romance want-ads.

To be fair, I told HH that he was:

• steady


• cuddly


• stubborn


• sweet


• smart


• deliberate

Funny that our first adjectives are opposites. I guess that must be the glue that holds it all together.

If you have glossed over this post in a (phew, this is narcissistically boring!) way, don't worry, I kinda did too. Point is: I am a tireless puppy, always pulling at a leash. I keep us moving forward. He is a rock, wise in so many ways, just don't try to get him to move too quickly. Thank goodness for his stability.

Together, we make a great team!

525,600 Minutes

How do you measure a year?

For this family, 2008 can definitely be measured in love. Please pardon my sappiness as I get a little choked up - my little man is one year old on Wednesday.

As I fed him his morning "ba-ba" today, wrapped up in his snuggle blankie, I held him just a little tighter. I thought about the fact that I wouldn't be able to sit in his glider much longer and have tender moments like this. It seems the bigger he gets, the more he wants "da" (down). Little tears formed in my eyes and rolled down onto his sweet head....about 60 seconds later he gave out a giant toot and then laughed so hard I couldn't help but join in. That's motherhood for you, crying one minute, laughing the next.

Here is a look at our 12 months of love.

Noah James learned so many things in his first year. How to sit up, then crawl and now how to walk! How to say a handful of words and to sign a few too. Mommy also learned a few things this year. Here is a list, lest in a moment of weakness (oh the dreaded baby fever!) I forget and start wanting to try for #2 too soon. This year Mommy learned how to:

1. Read all four novels of the Twilight series while breastfeeding
2. Prepare dinner with right arm, dangling baby on left hip (avoiding stove)
3. Shovel in my own meals in under 3 minutes
4. Drive with one hand while finding dropped toy in backseat with other
5. Survive on 4-5 hours of sleep
6. Shower in about 60 seconds while watching monitor and listening for baby crying
7. Interpret the "I am hungry" cry from the "I am just pissed off" cry
8. Hold the bathroom drawer closed with left foot, brush teeth with right hand, hold Noah's hand with left pink finger (that was last night)
9. How to get to all Babies R 'Us within a 50 mile radius.
10. That the term "mother bear" doesn't even come close.

Somewhere on the list should also be that despite the sarcasm, I learned that I love being a mama . There is nothing like having a little person love you so unconditionally that you just want to stay in that glider chair, cuddled together with a blankie, holding them tight forever.

It was a year of love, indeed.