Thursday, February 26, 2009

Calling All Hairy Chicks

So if you swung on over to see what the title of this post was all about, you are probably at least part monkey like me. Ok, so I am not so much "monkey" as I am Italian and Eastern European, but some of the time, I feel part chimp.

If you read my last post, you know about the woes of having thick, curly hair. Now take that hair and imagine it on your arms, legs, and other parts I probably shouldn't mention. The hair on my head requires chemical warfare to battle. What on earth do I do about the rest of my body?

Usually the response would be "wax, shave, Nair, repeat." However, two weeks ago I discovered a hair removal technique I hadn't tried. Enter Smooth Away!

Unlike the Yuko, this product costs 9 bucks and can be found in drug stores. I got mine at Bed, Bath and Beyond. It removes hair by exfoliating the hell out of it. Not painful, just be ready to rub a few layers of skin off.

Here is a shot of my arm. I did the wrist area. It took about 2 minutes of rubbing and came our pretty hairless (not sure if pic will show this).

Note how my arm got a bit red. No, it didn't hurt, but it just left a raw look to the skin. So I would be careful with sensitive areas. I am currently sporting "Hawaiian Punch" face. I would post a pic, but that might ruin some of the romance for HH, who already puts up with my using "baby wipes instead" of real showers and my "i can burp the alphabet" marathons. Sexy, eh?

Anyways, for 9 bucks and a little work, I would say it's worth it. WAY less painful than waxing for most areas. However, don't expect much luck with your bikini line with this one. For your lady parts, you are just going to have to bite the bullet and deal with the giant BAD WORDS that is waxing.

Good luck!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Tuesday's Tribute - Thank Yuko, I Am Vain

Think back to your middle school years. Sure there were the good times, rocking out to Like a Prayer with your girlfriends at the roller rink, shopping at Contempo while eating some Sweet Factory treats, hanging that fresh Nelson poster in your locker.

For me, middle school also holds a special place in my heart because it was the only time I had "good" hair. I had the "in" hair. All my friends were getting perms, defusing and scrunching like madwomen , while I was going au-natural with my crazy, curling locks. Getting ready in the morning took about 2 minutes (ok, 2 minutes after I finished the blue eye shadow and adjusting the Kleenex in my bra). Damn if that curly hair trend, like Nelson, only lasted a year or two.

In high school, my once coveted coif became termed "the fro." I have nothing against a "fro" personally, but can be inconvenient for peripheral vision purposes. (yes, my hair is THAT BIG NATURALLY). My straight (haired) friends all laughed while I resorted to blowing dry, then ironing my fuzziness into a manageable do. My hair suffered, and my burnt hands and forehead, while making for a funny story, have never really recovered.

In college I discovered the revolutionary device known as the flat iron. I was in love! I would blow dry then flat iron my hair every day for an hour and then marvel at its smoothness. I could run my fingers threw it, see around it and style with ease. This love affair went on for quite a long time until baby came along. Reality came crashing down on me like rain on freshly blown-dry hair - WHO THE HELL HAS AN HOUR TO SPEND ON THIS CRAP?

Enter Yuko. (pause because I get a little choked up here). Yuko is not a person, but an amazing hair treatment that PERMANENTLY STRAIGHTENS your hair. Yes, it takes 5 hours. Yes, it costs a gazillion dollars. But can you really put a price on self esteem?!?! (I would also like to add that I don't color my hair, and don't get mani, pedis, other lady stuff on a regular basis, but I will spring for the Yuko).

I have gotten Yuko twice now. Last Friday was my second time and this morning I woke up, showered, blow dried and was ready in 15 minutes. Noah, who was in his gated area watching the Disney Channel, never even noticed I was gone.

Thank you Yuko, for taming this mommy's "fro" and for giving her 30 more minutes a day to spend on more important things - like blogging!

Prison Break

If you were hoping for a post about that hot guy from the titled show, I totally apologize. What you get instead is a little update on the much needed weekend HH and I spent together.
If you are a SAHM like me, I am sure you can understand when I say that being at home all week can sometimes feel like prison. Like inmates, I get scheduled outings (in between naps) to go to the grocery store, dry cleaning, park, etc. If it's a REALLY tough day I get a special pass (aka, Noah misses a nap) and then I spend way too much money at Target or Borders. Yes, there are magical mommy moments of unicorns and fairies and all that jazz, however, much of the the week still feels like The Grind (and I am not referring to that MTV show with all the fun dancing).
It's been especially tough lately because HH is working late hours again. I basically have Noah from 7 to 7 and have hit the wall by around 5pm. I am in bed by 8:30 and we have barely spoken to each other all day. On top of this, when HH is home on the weekend, he would like to catch up on stuff he can't do during the week. This leads to much whining from me about how I would LIKE A BREAK too from my job (child rearing) and enjoy a few hours off. I have been doing A LOT of whining lately.
After a day of tears from Noah, which lead to tears from me, the sweet HH asked me," What can I do to help you?" I said, "I would sell my right arm for a toddler-free weekend." Luckily, I didn't have to sell any body parts, and we ended up giving each other a weekend stay at the beach to celebrate post-Valentine's Day. My parents were so awesome and came all the way from AZ to watch Noah while Bri and I got some "play" time in. We slept in, drank wine, ate sushi, went dancing and played with our friends. It was fantastic.
I sometimes forget what life was like pre-toddler. I can't say I would trade places, but it was so nice to just be "us" for a few days. It should certainly decrease my least for a month or two.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A Cup of Honest Tea

As I sink quietly into my creaky office chair (as to not wake the sleeping darling next wall over), I am filled with relief. For me, blogging has become a well-worn sweatshirt (you know the one with the hole in the armpit?) It's how I wrap myself in comfort, how I let go and just be me.

In case you haven't noticed, "being me" involves a great deal of talking about myself. Thank the lord some of you think its interesting enough to read about. Before blogging I engaged in a lot more "Me Me Me" conversations in real life. In an effort to connect and share with others, I often try to tell stories about my own life. Some have told me it makes me appear selfish or attention seeking. Both of those I fully admit to, but the "sharing" was more of an effort to connect than to brag, boast, what have you.

This little space of mine lets me share without worry that I am "over-doing it" or trying too hard. If folks aren't interested, more entertaining material is just a click away, without having to worry about hurting my feelings.

Oh Sippy Cup, I love you. I cherish you and boy have I missed you!!!

In an effort to stay sane while my computer was enjoying some down time (aka broke-city) I did what all normal people do....I blogged in my head.

After an afternoon of trying to shop for new jeans with a toddler in tow, I mentally blogged about HOW RIDICULOUS it was for me to attempt such an adventure. Luckily for the mortally offended woman who's dressing room Noah decided to invade, I have had some time to cool down as to not totally go off on her. At the time I took a picture of her feet with my phone so I could post about what a complete a-hole she was.

Other mental post topics have included:

  • Dear Hand Written Thank You Notes, You are Stupid and Archaic

  • The Never Ending Laundry (like the Never Ending Story without the cool flying dog-thing)

  • WTF, Why Won't It Stop Raining?

  • Noah + Sharpie on the Wall = More Chardonnay for Mommy

There are others, but I wrote some of them on a post-it and for the life of me I can't decipher them. Maybe it's better they weren't posted about anyway. I think some were those middle-of- the night, "Oh this will be an AWESOME topic!" and then in the morning you think "I must have been on crack."

For what it's worth, I am back. And feeling so happy to be so. Off to check out what's going on with you all.



Tuesday's Tribute

Dear Monkey,

I love you for so many reasons.


I also should have put "You are great at fixing computers." Thank you for returning me to the land of blogging. I have missed it.

Your Valentine - Peach

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Wordful Wed - You'd Better Brush Baby!

Here is Noah sporting his electric tooth brush. He loves this thing and often requests to "brush." Sometimes we even have to bribe him with a toy to get the dang thing out of his mouth.

It was not always this way.

After he got his first tooth in, HH and I had to pry his mouth open to jam the "washcloth" the dr. told us to brush his teeth with. The ped told us that if we started this early, Noah shouldn't mind a bit. Yeah right, we almost lost a finger or two. And I am sure we have hearing loss from all the screaming (mine and his). After this battle, I just gave up and went with what he seemed to want (after much frantic pointing to OUR electric brushes).

Now, I am sure this is totally NOT recommended for a 1 year old and I know there are many dangers (chip tooth, enamel scraping, etc) that come with giving a kid an electric machine he sticks in his mouth. HOWEVER, nothing compares to the trauma of having to get rotted teeth pulled.

Just ask this kid. The video is after his experience getting his teeth pulled and is entitled "Kid Drugged Up After Dentist." His dad took it and then posted it on You Tube. It's freakin hilarious, though I feel a little guilty laughing, cause you do feel sorry for the poor guy...but mostly I just laughed.

For more WW come visit Angie @ Seven Clown Circus.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Not Me Monday

I had a ridiculously good weekend. Usually I am "OMG, it's Monday. I hate Mondays," but for the first time in months, I feel refreshed, revitalized and ready to face the day! (phew, what a Pollyanna moment that was). Anyways, this giddiness is due of course to the things I TOTALLY DID NOT DO this weekend.

I did not:
  • Get my hair cut at spa by the beach only to follow it with a foot massage and pedicure

  • Without guilt, let my MOL watch Noah while I was gone (thank you Mom!)

  • Go to a FABULOUS Bachlorette party later that evening

  • Let Noah play for 30 minutes with the unplugged hairdryer (while I was getting ready for said party) and he totally did not PUT IT IN THE TOILET

  • Splurge on (omg)$15 dollar fancy drinks with champagne with my girlfriends b/c they were delicious and sinful

  • Shake my money maker at a club for all it was worth (merci, bucket of champagne for making it all happen)

Thank you to the many who made this mama's night out possible. Thank you especially to my bf Sarah for inviting me and for planning the terrific evening.

Join the Not Me! Carnival at My Charming Kids.