Thursday, November 19, 2009

Lucky

It's been a while since my last post. Thank you for those of you who are sticking around to see how it all turns out. :)

I usually try and write with a sense of humor, (What?!? You don't think I am funny?) because I feel like life with a toddler can be full of shits and giggles if you only look at how ridiculous getting angry about things like pooping on the carpet is. However, the last few weeks I think my sense of humor got a case of H1N1. My "funny" has been stuck in bed, replaced by a more anxious/tense self who has little patience for people or difficult situations.

I actually had a post written, then edited, then re-written, then deleted and it was all about anxiety and how crappy I have been feeling lately. (I was anxious about my post even. Irony, much?) Reading it made me want to upchuck. I have way too many things to be thankful for to let myself be dragged into a pity-party. So I am making a list, lest I forget what a beautiful life I am blessed with.


Things I am LUCKY for:


  1. HH. Is there a stronger word than "amazing?" I don't think that quite describes him. He puts up with my multitude of moods and still wants to come home early from work to see me. (That's usually when I shove Noah into his arms, grab a glass of Merlot and throw on Gossip Girl.) I can't believe how lucky I am to found a man so supportive and selfless.

  2. My family. We don't always see eye to eye, but I know no matter how many grumbling texts or angry emails are sent, we are still there for each other. It's also nice to realize that EVERY family has problems. I mean, sheesh, turn on a daytime talk show. It least I know who my "real" daddy is and stuff. I will try to keep this lovely thought in my heart as we enter the holiday "how long are you staying at our house, again?" season.

  3. My son. Oh baby. I get heavy in my heart just thinking of how much he depends on me. Its funny how that feeling can lead to such guilt and joy at the same time. BTW, Noah: Thank you, thank you for not crying when you got the flu vaccine. Mommy had a REALLY hard time wrestling with her decision to get it for you. I cried. You didn't. You are angel to trust your mommy so much. I hope I deserve that trust.

  4. Friends. Amanda, Ali, Lisa, Sarah I am calling you out. You have helped me so many times the last few weeks. You are my sunshine. Oh and the trashy mags and champagne brunches haven't hurt either...

  5. Health. Every day is truly a gift. We only get a set amount of days. I need to be more thankful that I can be active and have the opportunity to pursue the things I want to do (even if that is cleaning, doing laundry and chasing Noah as he runs out of the park).

As a last little nugget to myself, I need to recognize that all the above CANNOT be bought, so I need to worry less about money. With Christmas coming up, you may be feeling the pinch too. This year I will try not to stress to much about what to buy people and realize that happiness isn't something to be bought, but something you have to appreciate and nurture. I am hoping my list of "Lucky" does this for me. And maybe, when you are feeling stressed this holiday season, make yourself a little list of "lucky." I hope it helps.

Monday, October 26, 2009

A Bedtime Story

While I was busy sipping cocktails and dancing on tables in Vegas, I left HH with toddler-sized problem and guess what...he fixed it. For this I owe him big-time, though I have tried making payment with blueberry pancakes and a 6 pack of Guinness. That counts as currency in man world, right?

What fantastic feat did HH do to deserve such service, you ask? He taught our 21 month old how to sleep in his toddler bed. In one weekend.


Don't you wish every problem could be like that? Your toddler gives you yet another puzzle to solve and you promptly leave on a trip, letting hubby figure it out.

Me: What? Noah's biting his friends again at the park? I think I will fly off to Italy tomorrow and let YOU handle this one honey. Have it solved by Monday morning, ok?

Ummm, yeah, so it didn't totally go like that. It was more like... "Oh frick. Oh frick. Noah's jumping out of his crib again and I am leaving for the weekend. Please God, what is this crappy timing about? Can't this wait until he's 5? Yes, I think 5 is a good time for a toddler bed..."

Then later:
"Double frick! Now that he's in his toddler bed, he won't stay in there. I think we have to lock his door at night...Does this make me a bad mother? Am I damaging him emotionally?"

Yah, so I was a little stressed out. I left for Vegas with a very guilty mommy conscience.

So how did HH perform his miracle? With a simple little trick - a nightlight. On Saturday, he and Noah went out and bought this:



It charges on a dock, so you don't have to worry about a cord and it doesn't get hot. It also turns many different colors and has a timing mode that shuts off automatically in 15 minutes.

For some reason this little gems works wonders. I guess, like his Mama, Noah is not a big fan of the dark. HH, knowing his wife so well, thought maybe his son might benefit from a night-light friend he could hold while he slept (I call my friend my iPhone).

Phew, what a difference it made! No more screaming and banging on the door. No more hyper-ventilation crying. At the end of his bedtime routine each night, we hand him is GlowMate. He whines briefly when his door is shut and sometimes will check the door knob, but mostly he just lays in his bed, playing and talking to his light until he falls asleep.

I no longer feel guilty for locking his door, because I know he is much safer not roaming around the house. And I can sleep easy, with a happy heart, knowing his "friend" is keeping him company.

Thank you, thank you, HH for making this story have a happy ending.

BTW, Noah's still peeing on the carpet. I think it might be a good time for me to visit Sufia in Africa. Be back in a week...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

SITScation: Gossip Girl Edition

Hey beautiful bloggers, it's the "Sippy Cup" Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandulous lives of the ladies of SITS. What's making the headling on my homepage? Well, it's SITScation, of course.



Which sitsta was caught at cocktail hour being just as cute and quirky as her blog?




What head-band wearing mama completely rocked the house with her speech? Hint: It's not Blair Waldorf.



Fashionista's take note: Black tights are THE NEW THING. Check out S rocking the flapper girl look.


Who's bloggy warmth was just as real in person?


Scandal alert! Which of these lovely ladies was spotted table dancing after hours in the VIP section at a hot Vegas club? You know, I'll never tell.



XOXO
Gossip Girl

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wordful Wednesday - So Tonight We're Gonna Potty Like It's 1999

Ever since watching the Elmo's Potty Time video, Noah's been all about the potty. He requests to watch the DVD at least 2 times a day, then he cracks himself up, running around the living room shouting "Wee-wee" and "Woo-woo." (I mean really, what the hell is a woo-woo?)

Anyways, just like Elmo promised, once Noah had a few success stories under his belt, it was time to go out and buy some Big Boy training pants. The "shot" below is his first time trying them on. He totally wanted me to take his picture to show his Papa. He ran over to me, said "Cheese!" and proceeded to take a big whiz on the carpet.

In case you missed it. I circled it in purple for you. And yes, that IS a mid-stream shot. :P

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Housewife Survival Handbook

The first part of this post starts at our local Barnes and Noble; a mecca for the stay at home mom. As soon as I swing open the door and the rush of cool, coffee scented air fills my lungs, I feel my shoulders relax and my grip on Noah's struggling hand release. He runs to the train table and mama grabs herself a whipped frap and a magazine.

This is one our afternoon routines I look forward to and it usually goes pretty smoothly (unless there are not enough trains for all the kiddies, then the claws come out). This particular afternoon I had finished my US weekly and Noah was still busy with James and Percy, so I decided to check out the clearance aisle. I freely admit I am a book junkie and that the only way to support my habit is either through my enabling friends or books with a red tag. Surely, those book purchases are justifiable. The red label means it's close to free, right?


Anyhoo, the title of this book caught my eye:





It was the Improved Housewife that did it. Clearly I could use some improving. Typically my "recipes" consist of whatever Trader Joe's packages I warmed up and my home-maker uniform/outfit is usually post-park grunge with a smear of apple sauce.


I admit, I was a little freaked out about the words marketing and carving. Was the author still talking about food here? Or were we on more dangerous territory? Did I need marketing or carving? After reading that US Weekly, I wasn't so sure.

I had to laugh then when I opened the book and found the copyright date. 1851. Ok, phew.
Whatever mana of knowledge this book contained has been since drained by the age of the mircowaves and micro-minis. That's more like the mama's I know.

But still, I was left with a yearning...where was my year 2000 survival guide? Where are bullet points on 10 minute recipes that prepare themselves and an accompanying educational activity to do with your toddler while that meal is cooking? Where are the paragraphs under the heading "What to do on Wednesday when you've already been to the zoo once and the park 3 times this week?" or "How to answer important phone calls when your toddler is screaming?"

I searched Google. I couldn't find it.

So ladies, I throw this task out to you. I have read some pretty freakin-awesome blogs out there and I know you mamas are up for the challenge.


If they can have this:


They can have The Housewife Survival Handbook. I mean, it's only fair. That first book might even lead to being a housewife.
Also, you can totally take my title. Just send me a free copy so I can read it while I am sipping my latte at Barnes and Noble and we are cool.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Friday, August 28, 2009

The War of Extinction (Plus Giveaway Winners)

There is a war going on in my house. A war that we hope will end in extinction. Nope, I am not talking about the extinction of any endangered plant or fuzzy animals, so you can put away your Save the Pandas t-shirt. I am referring the extinction of behavior. I call this behavior The Wheam.

The wheam starts as a small, irritating whine ("coookieeeeee") and when denied develops into a desperate chant ("COOKIE. MAMA. COOKIE. MAMA."). The ignored chant then follows into the "someone must be stabbing me" scream.

The hills are alive, with the sound of Wheaming...

As you can imagine, I want the Wheam to take a hike. It needs to leave soon, or mama is going to resort to wearing earplugs and communicating only through baby signs (or through the door in my padded cell).

So we have gone to war.

So far the wheam is putting up a good fight. In the wheam's armory are volume, repetition and public Mommy embarrassment. All mama has so far is extinction. In behavioral modification, extinction eliminates the incentive for unwanted behavior by withholding the expected response. In other words, Noah starts to whine "cooookieee," Mama ignores. Noah screams and stomps feet, Mama ignores. I may offer him a snack later, when he can ask me in his "sweet voice," but I don't negotiate with the wheam.

Over time, one can hope that continued extinction of the wheam will lead to is eventual disappearance. It's been about a two week battle now and Mama is feeling a little ragged around the edges.

I have, however, called in reinforcements. We are headed to Grandma's next week. Perhaps a change in players and location will change the tides of this battle. I am little suspicious, though, that Grammy and the wheam may be in cohoots....

Because I will be gone on Sept 1, I am announcing the winners now. They are:





Megan @ Megan Goldie
If you lovely ladies could shoot me an email with an address, I will get those sandals off to you soon.

Now back to the trenches.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wordful Wednesday - Monkey See, Monkey Do


Does your toddler turn into a screaming mess when comes time for a haircut? Do you have to bribe him with cookies just to get him into the seat and the shove them periodically into his crying mouth so that he doesn't throw himself out of the chair? Do you dread the event and sweat through the whole thing?
Yeah. Me too.

I've tried the fancy kid cut places with the fun cars to sit in and the videos. I've tried M&M bribery, which is usually the cure-all for everything. Nothing has worked until now.

On Monday Mama made PAPA go along. PAPA got his haircut first and Noah got to watch. We "clapped" for Papa as he "sat nicely" and oh so still. Bri wore his "this is awesome! cheesy grin" the whole time. Then we cheered for Papa when he got a balloon a the end for "being so good." And all the while said, "So fun! It's Noah's turn next!"
It felt like having to sit through a Barney episode, but man, it worked!

The above pic is my guys sporting their new cuts in the shower. Now they both are mullet-free and Mama is excited to try this new technique with other unhappy events. Hurrah for Papa The Guinea Pig!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

WW - What I've Learned From My Toddler

  • Coffee is necessary for morning , mommy survival.
(which is related to....)
  • It's never too early to throw on a Thomas video.
  • You have it. I WANT IT. And don't take too long handing it over.

  • Cats are quick. The best animals are the ones who are too lazy to run away in fear from you.

  • The best thing about having a cat is that their food is always available in that shiny bowl on the ground. The food doesn't taste too bad. You just have to chew it a lot.

  • Can't find your cell phone? Guess who's stuck it in the toilet again?

  • Can't find your wallet? Don't worry, I've cleaned out all that pesky green paper for you. It flushes better than the phone. Whoopee!
  • The dirtier it is, the better it tastes.
  • 5 second rule? How about the "as long as i can identify what it once was" rule?
  • Whoever said "You can never have too much of a good thing," must have been talking about chocolate cookies.
  • Peeing on the floor is hilarious.
  • Peeing in the toilet is for losers. Or for toddlers who will except an M&M bribe.
  • Keep your friends close and the grandparents even closer. Preferably on speed dial.






  • Every day is a gift. (...........well, at least it's an "adventure." :D )
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Thanks Kat for such a cute prompt. I totally acknowledge that I stole your format. I love the "pics say it all" idea.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

100 Sips, A Toast of Thanks

Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.
- Benjamin Franklin
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It isn't surprising to learn that a quote like this comes from someone who had three kids. Though Ben, I have to wonder if it was actually you who had to wake up with those toddlers. Maybe you should have reconsidered the whole Daylight Savings thing?


But I digress... The purpose of this post is to celebrate, not to complain over sleep we parents will never get back - It's my 100th post on Sippy Cup!

It is in the spirit of Ben's quote that I would like to thank you. Not only can a glass (or two!) of wine help, but it also helps to have the support of the friends I have made here. Your lovely comments have lifted me, made me laugh and helped me get through my first years of mommyhood. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


Thank you also to HH for all that you have done to help me with this blog. From taking Noah to the park (the beach, the hardware store, etc) so I could write, to helping me with technical issues. You certainly are my best friend with benefits.


For busy moms and followers who are still checking in from time to time, I would like to offer you a chance at relaxation as well. No, I am not sending you a case of "2 Buck Chuck." :) On Sept 1, I am giving away a pair of comfy Islander Sandals to 3 randomly picked followers who leave me a comment on this post with your color and size preference.


Feel free to wear them and sip your Chardonnay. And if it has to be out of a covert sippy cup at the park, so be it.


Cheers!
Rachel

Monday, August 10, 2009

It's the Climb

What do you think of our toddler landing pad?

HH and I returned late last night from our 5 day trip. A vacation filled with cool breezes, refreshing drinks and warm sand. A trip........(wait for it)..... WITHOUT THE KID. Now I won't go into the details of the loveliness of our time together, but you parents out there understand, even a trip to Walmart without a toddler can be relaxing, and we had pina coladas....



Not too surprising, however, is the fact that I did miss our little man quite a bit. We are best buds and hang out every day, so its a little spooky not to have my shadow around. I knew though, he was in fantastic care with my mom (Grammy Tutu) and Noah was going to love every minute of her visit. (This didn't stop me from calling twice a day just to sing Twinkle Twinkle to him.)


On our flight home I was thinking, "ah, I am so very relaxed, I am ready for whatever the week ahead has in store. I will meet challenges with a calm and cool head (insert not pull my hair and count to ten under my breath). Nothing will frustrate me. I am the ocean. I am serenity." Here it should be mentioned that we were flying over where a hurricane was supposed to land the next day. Foreshadowing much?


After crashing into bed later that night, it seemed like only moments until 4am when violent screams erupted from Noah's room. HH and I went running and the cats high tailed it under the bed. When we got to the room my mom had her hand over her heart and was saying," Thank you God. Thank you. I was worried it had happened again." From the picture above I am sure you can imagine what that "it" is. My newly 19 month old has discovered he can obtain freedom from his baby jail (crib) by hurdling his body over the side.



Now I know I am just one of millions of mommies with this problem, but sheesh, the Mederma for Kids is still drying from his last "discovery." Couldn't I have a few more months?Until then, I will continue to pad the inside of our house with whatever I can find. It has begun to resemble a mental asylum. Crazy person included.


Serenity indeed.

Friday, July 24, 2009

The 3 Year Old A-hole

I probably won't be winning any sensitivity awards with that title, but you have to admit, that somewhere along life's path you've met a pre-schooler you who just wanted to give the middle finger to. Maybe this kid lived on your street. Maybe he was your cousin or some kid at school. He probably pushed you down when his mommy wasn't looking and dipped your string cheese into the sand just to get a reaction. He pretends to hand you his toy car to share and then laughs at your crying when he yanks his hand back. Sounds personal, huh? Oh yeah. Noah and I know this kid. His name is Gavin and he's a regular at our park.
To be honest, by nature, I think most preschoolers are jerks. It makes sense that at an age when you have enough understanding to realize you are pretty small and powerless in this huge world, you might want to pick on the very few who are smaller than you (babies, puppies, bugs, etc). So, I am not really blaming the kid. It's up to parents/caregivers to teach more positive ways of feeling control. I won't bore you with examples, because I am sure you've read them in Parents magazine.

Who's to blame then? His parents? Should I pick up the phone and call his mommy? Who wants to get that call that your kid is a holy terror and commits minor violence against other toddlers and seems to get complete joy out of it? I mean, she must have some idea, right?

I think it should be said that I have actually never met the woman. It wouldn't really be a "friendly" conversation. We are strangers. Gavin comes to the park with 3 of his siblings in tow and his poor nanny who looks like she is about to have a nervous breakdown at any moment (the siblings ain't that sweet either). Not that I am saying that his mom working full-time has anything to do with it. I know many awesome kids with working parents. Maybe its the fact that the nanny just isn't equipped to handle that many kids with ummmm difficult personalities? (insert demons).

I have used every "teacher" trick I know, positive praise of Gavin's good behavior, setting a good example with Noah and then praising. When that didn't work I went for the disciplinarian approach and used firm words, " No, Gavin, you do not stand on Noah's legs!" "You do not push babies off the structure!" Sometimes the nanny will hear me (b/c I am shouting it loud enough for her to wake-up and pay attention) and will say, "That's a no-no, Gavin." GAHHHH.

Something needs to be done, though, and soon, because as soon as Noah gets to the park now he peers out from under the safety of his stroller and looks for Gavin. If Gavin is there, Noah says, "No. No. Bye-bye park." That is some power this kid has. Maybe I don't want to meet his parents. I am a little afraid of what the adult version might look like....

For the mean time, Noah has come up with some of his own strategies. When Gavin and Co tried to push Noah out of the sand box today, Noah came right back, sat in the middle and proceeded to take a big poo in his diaper. I guess that's the 18 month old equilavent to a middle finger.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Noah James, Celebrity Impersonator Extraordinaire

Like his mama, my son has a passion for entertaining. His many talents include: dancer, "joke" teller, and silly face maker. Recently I discovered he has also been doing celebrity impersonations. It only took me looking through some old photos to figure this out. Here is some of his better work.

This is Kirstie Alley going straight for the brownie mix. This is pre-hair extension Kirstie, of course.

Noah's Trump. He can't actually say "You're Fired," but you can see it in his eyes.


Mathew McConaughey, shirtless with a bongo drum.



The open shirt and blank expression here just screams Fabio. Romance cover, here we come!


This is Noah doing Mel Gibson, Braveheart style. He uses the blue paint to get into character.

Last night, after dumping a tub of Aquaphor into his hair and donning a confused look, I realized my son was going for "heartthrob" in the form of Robert Pattinson.

My hope is that one day he will make it big in Vegas, so that mama can live out her days shopping at Caeser's Forum and playing video poker with Bette Midler. This sounds fair, right?
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This post was brought to you by Wordful Wednesday at Seven Clown Circus. Come on over and join the photo fun!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...And A Pair Stripper Shoes Too

I promised that while taking a posting vacay the next few months, that I would be out and about trying to have a fantastic summer. If you want to read about wholesome family goodness the Mantuanos have been having, click on over to my family blog. If you want something a little more PG-13 (and are not related to me by blood or marriage - haha) please read on.

My lovely high school buddy Cynthia (in the green dress below) is getting married this summer. Can a get a "holla" for a destination wedding in Hawaii? Thank you, Cynthia my dear, a heartfelt toast with a large pina colada has your name on it come August.

In celebration of her big event, a bunch of her friends met up in LA to have a girl's weekend. Here are some of us at her sister's place in LA.

I have to admit, I am a sucker for all things bachlorette. I love the veils, the tiaras, the favors...ok, mostly I love the inappropriate favors. It's about the only time you will see a doctor, two lawyers, and a couple PHDs sipping from some "manhood" straws. Did I mention Cynthia's friends are all crazy smart?

Anyways, after a creepy trip to an adult store (where I was the only chick NOT in the peep show behind the curtain), I picked up some favors, including some balloons, to help us celebrate. Here is Cynthia blowing up her balloon. Notice her sis Emily is already finished and tying it up. Nice job lady!




To prove I wasn't a total perv, I also brought some Sprinkles cupcakes for the tea party we had on Saturday morning. I figure a touch of Martha Stewart might make me seem more respectable. And then I noticed that the Sprinkles cupcakes on the left have nipples. Oh well, so much for respectable.


In addition to the plethora of sugary goodies provided, the tea party was made even sweeter by the fact that we did a clothing exchange. We all brought things we have stopped wearing out of our closet and were willing to trade. Having a very short attention span when it comes to fashion, I had a BUS LOAD of clothes. I was a newbie at the whole exchange thing, but have decided to become pro after seeing the piles of awesome clothes all the other girls wanted to trade. Plus, it was totally fun dressing up in random outfits. Here is our friend Marissa's interpretation of "Lady in Red."


After the tea party things got a little less "proper." We went to a pole-dancing lesson...yes.... like as in stripping. If you don't live in CA or NY, this probably seems like a weird thing. But it's becoming a legitimized form of exercise over here, and is WAY more fun than going to the gym. My abs and arms are still sore. Ok and the inside of my thighs are too from pole-burn, but it was all worth it!

Once there I just HAD to buy a pair of purple stripper shoes. I didn't think I will ever have an opportunity to wear them again, but dang they are fun. A small part of me is tempted to trek down to Albertsons in my "mom" khakis and Ann Taylor sweater set with the stripper shoes on just to see what the neighbors would say. The other part of me remembers that Noah is going to attend school here in a couple years....

For the sake of Noah's future embarassment, here's a video of me practicing an innocent spin. There are other videos, but some of them make me blush and I don't think my parents would be proud. Oh, and by the way mom, thanks for all the dance lessons when I was little, they made the pole dancing so much easier. And now I totally have something to fall back on (and the shoes too!). HAHA.

video

Thank you to Cynthia and Emily for making it all happen. I can't wait to show off our new moves at the wedding! You did say it was open bar, right? :P

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Where the hell is she?


I have to admit, people have been asking this about me lately. Not a lot of people, mind you, I am not THAT popular. It's mostly my mom and my little sister, who I apologize profusely for not calling back (and after she got me that awesome Hawaiian hotel rate, I know, I am an ungrateful jerk).


Instead of going on and on about what I have been up to, I decided to make a list of excuses. Here are my top ten reasons I have been horrible about blogging lately:


10. So You Think You Can Dance - As a former dancer and movement teacher, this show is my soul mana. It's so inspiring to see people who LOVE what they do. Also, the shirtless guys aren't to shabby, gay or not.


9. Summer - I live in SoCal and not too far from a beach. More soul mana. ;)


8. Books - A lovely friend of mine, Lisa, recently showered me with some books. I have had my nose in them whenever Noah is asleep. Yay for silly summer reading!


7. Toddler Activities - If you read this blog, you know that I have an ACTIVE little guy. Currently he is enrolled in a dance class (come on, its just him running around to Raffi, really...) an alphabet class ("Noah, please don't throw the wooden letters at Riley!") and a book babies time at the library. This is all in addition to all the trips to the park, beach, zoo, and other places it is acceptable for a kid to run around like a maniac.


6. My other job, housekeeper - Yes, it's lovely to have 5 bathrooms. Ah the freedom to poop where you please! However, when it comes time to cleaning all 5, I am tempted to dig a communal hole in the backyard.


5. Achoo! - Our household has been a merry-go-round of infection. First it was Noah, then Brian and now me. Right now, I sound like a 70 year old smoker.


4. Buddies - If you click on over to my family blog, you can check out the visits we've been having from friends of all ages.


3. True Blood - It's probably unhealthy to watch the whole season on DVD in 3 days. Can't figure out why I keep dreaming of naked vampire booty....(As a side note, the series as a novel is awesome, the series as an HBO show is one adult toy short of fetish porn....or so I imagine).


ehm.


2. Spring Cleaning - Because of most of the above, toddlers, friends visiting, etc., I decided it was time to do a deep cleaning on the clutter. I had to borrow (aka abscond) the neighbors half-empty trash can and fill it with junk we don't need. In addition, we bought some new patio furniture and a coffee table I love as much as my cats. In case you are wondering how this has affected Noah, check out this video. I had to buy the poor guy his own broom.


1. Laziness - After all the cleaning, activities and visits, there is nothing better than winding the day down with pajamas, a glass of chardonnay and a good book (or a vampire DVD). I have no brain power left for cleverness or writing.


I am not going to bore you with promises about how this is going to change or that I am going to be giving away something awesome soon to get back the followers that have just given up on me. Frankly, I don't blame them. I can promise you I am going to go out there and try and have a ridiculously good summer and from time to time I will be back to write about it. I hope you all do the same!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Writer's Workshop - SoCal Snow White

I loved the prompt from Mama Kat this week:
Put an outfit together using pictures you found online and show us what you'd like to be wearing.

Easily, the first thing I pictured was a Princess (who wants expensive designer duds you have to pay a fortune to dry clean?) No, its much more fun to dress like a fantasy. Not only do I want to wear the full Princess get-up, I also want those damn dwarfs. Seven little men to do my cleaning, washing and food prep. Seven little men who don't take up too much room and never ask for some night-time nookie. All I would have to do is twirl around and sing a song or too. Something I do for Noah on a twenty minute rotation anyway. The ONE thing I would change would be the shoes. The heels seem pretty stupid for running around the forest in. I would have to switch them for flip flops that were super comfortable and that I could leave by a tree stump in case I needed to take a dip in a wishing well or something.

So here I am in my outfit:

And here are the super-comfy flip flops I would wear. BTW, did I mention all you Princesses out there can actually purchase these shoes if you twirl on over to Islander Sandals?

The one hang up might be the tricky old hag coming around with those apples. Not a big problem because I am not a big fan of apples. Chocolate cookies, that's another thing. If the queen brought me cookies, I would be S.O.L., poison city.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Wordful Wed - It was just a matter of time

My last entry probably explains a bit about why I am posting so infrequently. I have been wearing my running shoes to keep up with my Energizer Baby.

This week all his running caught up with us. Here he is sporting his first head injury:
The poor little guy fell directly onto the corner of our bed frame while whipping around the bend. (Of course this is the only corner in the house we don't have one of those Safety 1st pads on. It figures.) As I rushed over to check on him, I got the silent scream, which always is a gauge for the nightmare soon to unload. He was bleeding from a cut in his forehead and there was blood running down his face. A complete Mommy horror movie. After wiping up the blood and calming down my sweet boy, I realized it wasn't bad enough for an ER visit (we have yet to break that seal), and I called the on-call ped.

The cut (and subsequent goose egg) didn't require stitches, just a little skin glue and some special tape. The problem is that the band aid and tape are supposed to stay on for at least 24hrs. Not so great for a toddler who wonders why there is A GIANT RED STICKER is on his head. Needless to say, we had been avoiding mirrors and keeping him busy with tasks to keep him from picking it off. We actually went for a whole 40 minutes without incident until the check out lady at Henry's points to Noah's head and goes, "Oh POOR baby, look at that BIG bandage. What happened?" Thank goodness Henry's has balloons which mommy quickly shoved into his hand.
I had a sneaking suspision that he would peel that baby off as soon as mama wasn't around, and when he woke up from his nap the red band aid and tape were curled tightly in his hand. Proudly he showed his accomplishment to me, "Boo-boo!"
As far as injuries go, it was pretty mild, despite the initial blood fest down the forehead. As we were walking out the doc cheerfully said to me, "Don't worry, this will be the first of many. See you soon!"
Haven't decided how I feel about that statement yet....

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wordful Wednesday - Caught in the Act





Dear Mommy,
I think its cool you have decided to have a sense of humor about this. I like you taking pictures of my adventures a lot more than you pulling on your hair and counting to 10.
Have to go find the cat now. Not telling you why yet....
Love,
Noah

Monday, May 11, 2009

With A Little Help From My Friends


Just when you feel like the worst mother ever, some very thoughtful people come along and remind you that you just do your best and that's all a kid can ask.


Yesterday I was showered with flowers, cards, calls, emails and texts all from family and friends who wanted to show me some "mama love," despite all my dramatic complaining. A HUGE thank you to the lovely ladies in my life (and those in bloggy land) for all the support. You don't know how much it means to me.


Giant hugs!

Rachel

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Writer's Workshop - Virgin Vlog

Ok, so you are going to have to pardon me on my first vlog. It is way more difficult to be eloquent when ranting/speaking than when ranting/writing.

video

Oh, and next time I am totally brushing my hair and wearing mascara.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Two Hundred Tantrums and A Mommy Time Out

Dear Sanity,


I am begging you. Please come back. You've been gone about 3 weeks now. Ever since Noah decided to become "terrible" before he was even 2.

I need you to help me shower and clean the house. I need you to drag me to play groups and the grocery store with my swine flu mask on. If I have to bribe you with chocolate covered Joe Joe's I am totally into that.

I realize this may have you nervous about returning. Please try and forget about that and instead think of this image - Noah's cute face. Proof that there's an angel in there somewhere.

If you are still not convinced, picture this:

It's where HH and I are going SANS TODDLER in August. I sincerely hope you don't wait that long to show up.

Your Humble Servant,
Rachel

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Klingon


Is that a face only a mother could love, or what?


While I do admit to being a super-Trekkie nerd, I can't say I would ever really want to have my VERY OWN Klingon. The last few days, it's felt that way though. Noah's been sick again with case #478 of an "unknown virus." By now, you'd think they could name some of this crap. I mean, if they discovered shooting rat poison into your face takes away wrinkles, you'd think a little sniffling would be identifiable by an M.D.


Anyways, due to the "virus," Noah been super-super grumpy which leads to Mommy being super-super grumpy. Noah's grumpiness takes the form of 4 chubby appendages with a death-grip on my legs. He wants up, he wants down, he wants to rub his snots on the back of my leg, but for the sake of everything holy, HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE MORE THAN 2 FEET AWAY FROM ME. This creates a problem around meal times and when mommy has to potty, so I have had to call on my trusty friend Elmo for more than I would like to admit this week. The peds recommend "No TV for kids under 2." I laugh at them and challenge them to come to my house when Noah's sick. Oh and by the way, could you FIGURE OUT WHAT MY KID HAS AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF GIVING STUPID AND UNREALISTIC ADVICE ABOUT TV? (Sorry, will now return to using my "inside" voice.....ehm).


Usually a glass of wine (i mean bottle) and a bubble bath would solve this, but my throat is itchy too, and I don't want to make it more horrible by ALSO being sick or (gasp) hungover. Wine and I are fremenies in that I love her in the evening, but more than one glass leads to her beating on my brain come 6am, not so much fun to wake up to a toddler who likes to bang on his drums to.


So here I am friends, laying out my troubles once again on you. Thanks for listening. If I were a blues singer I would be belting out the "Klingon Blues" like Ella, but that would wake the sleeping members of my family (even the dang cats are still asleep). If I were an artist I would express myself like Dali with some freaky leeches and a big clock melting away the time or something. This sounds like fun, but there is no way Noah would let me get away with anything that resembles mommy fun. So I am here, writing at 5:30, before the little man gets up. Cross your fingers for me that he wakes up sans snot with a happy grin on his face, for both of us.


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I would also like to apologize for being comment MIA lately. The great thing about having a iPhone is that you can read everyone's latest posts from anywhere. The crappy thing is that leaving comments is not very user friendly yet. I giggle your posts at the park, I treasure them from my bed in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I even peruse them in traffic (don't arrest me). So I HAVE been visiting you, my friends. Just think of me as one of those crazy Idol fans, peering through your window. I am there, watching and learning about your lives, but I don't leave any death threats or anything. Nice of me, huh?

Monday, April 13, 2009

My Karate Kid

Remember Noah's Jedi Training? I guess since the light saber thing didn't work out so well, he is starting him off with some martial arts. Here they are practicing in our closet:

(mmmhmm. so glad my headbands are getting some good use.....)
I really shouldn't be surprised at all of this because my almost 30-year-old HH does have a sword, which he keeps under the bed just in case ninjas attack. He also thinks Noah may need to learn how to use is someday.
Oh, and speaking of grown ups. Here are some of HH's buddies:
Something for Noah to aspire too, I guess. Brian still can't decide if Noah should be an evil-genius or a ninja when he grows up. Is is too much for a mama to ask that Noah be something a bit less dangerous like a teacher or a dentist?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Wordful Wednesday - It's Potty Time!

Remember a few days ago when I posted about my little Sprinkler? Well, after asking to sit on the big potty a number of times, mama decided to get Noah one of his very own. Here are some pics of his first attempt with potty.



Am I doing this right?



I am so proud of myself!




Anything happen yet?


Success! (Well, sort of. A lot went on the floor. My sprinkler is a sprayer!)



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This post was brought to you by Wordful Wednesday @ Seven Clown Circus.