It's been a while since my last post. Thank you for those of you who are sticking around to see how it all turns out. :)
I usually try and write with a sense of humor, (What?!? You don't think I am funny?) because I feel like life with a toddler can be full of shits and giggles if you only look at how ridiculous getting angry about things like pooping on the carpet is. However, the last few weeks I think my sense of humor got a case of H1N1. My "funny" has been stuck in bed, replaced by a more anxious/tense self who has little patience for people or difficult situations.
I actually had a post written, then edited, then re-written, then deleted and it was all about anxiety and how crappy I have been feeling lately. (I was anxious about my post even. Irony, much?) Reading it made me want to upchuck. I have way too many things to be thankful for to let myself be dragged into a pity-party. So I am making a list, lest I forget what a beautiful life I am blessed with.
Things I am LUCKY for:
- HH. Is there a stronger word than "amazing?" I don't think that quite describes him. He puts up with my multitude of moods and still wants to come home early from work to see me. (That's usually when I shove Noah into his arms, grab a glass of Merlot and throw on Gossip Girl.) I can't believe how lucky I am to found a man so supportive and selfless.
- My family. We don't always see eye to eye, but I know no matter how many grumbling texts or angry emails are sent, we are still there for each other. It's also nice to realize that EVERY family has problems. I mean, sheesh, turn on a daytime talk show. It least I know who my "real" daddy is and stuff. I will try to keep this lovely thought in my heart as we enter the holiday "how long are you staying at our house, again?" season.
- My son. Oh baby. I get heavy in my heart just thinking of how much he depends on me. Its funny how that feeling can lead to such guilt and joy at the same time. BTW, Noah: Thank you, thank you for not crying when you got the flu vaccine. Mommy had a REALLY hard time wrestling with her decision to get it for you. I cried. You didn't. You are angel to trust your mommy so much. I hope I deserve that trust.
- Friends. Amanda, Ali, Lisa, Sarah I am calling you out. You have helped me so many times the last few weeks. You are my sunshine. Oh and the trashy mags and champagne brunches haven't hurt either...
- Health. Every day is truly a gift. We only get a set amount of days. I need to be more thankful that I can be active and have the opportunity to pursue the things I want to do (even if that is cleaning, doing laundry and chasing Noah as he runs out of the park).
As a last little nugget to myself, I need to recognize that all the above CANNOT be bought, so I need to worry less about money. With Christmas coming up, you may be feeling the pinch too. This year I will try not to stress to much about what to buy people and realize that happiness isn't something to be bought, but something you have to appreciate and nurture. I am hoping my list of "Lucky" does this for me. And maybe, when you are feeling stressed this holiday season, make yourself a little list of "lucky." I hope it helps.
