Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Noah James, Celebrity Impersonator Extraordinaire

Like his mama, my son has a passion for entertaining. His many talents include: dancer, "joke" teller, and silly face maker. Recently I discovered he has also been doing celebrity impersonations. It only took me looking through some old photos to figure this out. Here is some of his better work.

This is Kirstie Alley going straight for the brownie mix. This is pre-hair extension Kirstie, of course.

Noah's Trump. He can't actually say "You're Fired," but you can see it in his eyes.

Mathew McConaughey, shirtless with a bongo drum.

The open shirt and blank expression here just screams Fabio. Romance cover, here we come!

This is Noah doing Mel Gibson, Braveheart style. He uses the blue paint to get into character.

Last night, after dumping a tub of Aquaphor into his hair and donning a confused look, I realized my son was going for "heartthrob" in the form of Robert Pattinson.

My hope is that one day he will make it big in Vegas, so that mama can live out her days shopping at Caeser's Forum and playing video poker with Bette Midler. This sounds fair, right?
This post was brought to you by Wordful Wednesday at Seven Clown Circus. Come on over and join the photo fun!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...And A Pair Stripper Shoes Too

I promised that while taking a posting vacay the next few months, that I would be out and about trying to have a fantastic summer. If you want to read about wholesome family goodness the Mantuanos have been having, click on over to my family blog. If you want something a little more PG-13 (and are not related to me by blood or marriage - haha) please read on.

My lovely high school buddy Cynthia (in the green dress below) is getting married this summer. Can a get a "holla" for a destination wedding in Hawaii? Thank you, Cynthia my dear, a heartfelt toast with a large pina colada has your name on it come August.

In celebration of her big event, a bunch of her friends met up in LA to have a girl's weekend. Here are some of us at her sister's place in LA.

I have to admit, I am a sucker for all things bachlorette. I love the veils, the tiaras, the favors...ok, mostly I love the inappropriate favors. It's about the only time you will see a doctor, two lawyers, and a couple PHDs sipping from some "manhood" straws. Did I mention Cynthia's friends are all crazy smart?

Anyways, after a creepy trip to an adult store (where I was the only chick NOT in the peep show behind the curtain), I picked up some favors, including some balloons, to help us celebrate. Here is Cynthia blowing up her balloon. Notice her sis Emily is already finished and tying it up. Nice job lady!

To prove I wasn't a total perv, I also brought some Sprinkles cupcakes for the tea party we had on Saturday morning. I figure a touch of Martha Stewart might make me seem more respectable. And then I noticed that the Sprinkles cupcakes on the left have nipples. Oh well, so much for respectable.

In addition to the plethora of sugary goodies provided, the tea party was made even sweeter by the fact that we did a clothing exchange. We all brought things we have stopped wearing out of our closet and were willing to trade. Having a very short attention span when it comes to fashion, I had a BUS LOAD of clothes. I was a newbie at the whole exchange thing, but have decided to become pro after seeing the piles of awesome clothes all the other girls wanted to trade. Plus, it was totally fun dressing up in random outfits. Here is our friend Marissa's interpretation of "Lady in Red."

After the tea party things got a little less "proper." We went to a pole-dancing lesson...yes.... like as in stripping. If you don't live in CA or NY, this probably seems like a weird thing. But it's becoming a legitimized form of exercise over here, and is WAY more fun than going to the gym. My abs and arms are still sore. Ok and the inside of my thighs are too from pole-burn, but it was all worth it!

Once there I just HAD to buy a pair of purple stripper shoes. I didn't think I will ever have an opportunity to wear them again, but dang they are fun. A small part of me is tempted to trek down to Albertsons in my "mom" khakis and Ann Taylor sweater set with the stripper shoes on just to see what the neighbors would say. The other part of me remembers that Noah is going to attend school here in a couple years....

For the sake of Noah's future embarassment, here's a video of me practicing an innocent spin. There are other videos, but some of them make me blush and I don't think my parents would be proud. Oh, and by the way mom, thanks for all the dance lessons when I was little, they made the pole dancing so much easier. And now I totally have something to fall back on (and the shoes too!). HAHA.

Thank you to Cynthia and Emily for making it all happen. I can't wait to show off our new moves at the wedding! You did say it was open bar, right? :P

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Where the hell is she?

I have to admit, people have been asking this about me lately. Not a lot of people, mind you, I am not THAT popular. It's mostly my mom and my little sister, who I apologize profusely for not calling back (and after she got me that awesome Hawaiian hotel rate, I know, I am an ungrateful jerk).

Instead of going on and on about what I have been up to, I decided to make a list of excuses. Here are my top ten reasons I have been horrible about blogging lately:

10. So You Think You Can Dance - As a former dancer and movement teacher, this show is my soul mana. It's so inspiring to see people who LOVE what they do. Also, the shirtless guys aren't to shabby, gay or not.

9. Summer - I live in SoCal and not too far from a beach. More soul mana. ;)

8. Books - A lovely friend of mine, Lisa, recently showered me with some books. I have had my nose in them whenever Noah is asleep. Yay for silly summer reading!

7. Toddler Activities - If you read this blog, you know that I have an ACTIVE little guy. Currently he is enrolled in a dance class (come on, its just him running around to Raffi, really...) an alphabet class ("Noah, please don't throw the wooden letters at Riley!") and a book babies time at the library. This is all in addition to all the trips to the park, beach, zoo, and other places it is acceptable for a kid to run around like a maniac.

6. My other job, housekeeper - Yes, it's lovely to have 5 bathrooms. Ah the freedom to poop where you please! However, when it comes time to cleaning all 5, I am tempted to dig a communal hole in the backyard.

5. Achoo! - Our household has been a merry-go-round of infection. First it was Noah, then Brian and now me. Right now, I sound like a 70 year old smoker.

4. Buddies - If you click on over to my family blog, you can check out the visits we've been having from friends of all ages.

3. True Blood - It's probably unhealthy to watch the whole season on DVD in 3 days. Can't figure out why I keep dreaming of naked vampire booty....(As a side note, the series as a novel is awesome, the series as an HBO show is one adult toy short of fetish porn....or so I imagine).


2. Spring Cleaning - Because of most of the above, toddlers, friends visiting, etc., I decided it was time to do a deep cleaning on the clutter. I had to borrow (aka abscond) the neighbors half-empty trash can and fill it with junk we don't need. In addition, we bought some new patio furniture and a coffee table I love as much as my cats. In case you are wondering how this has affected Noah, check out this video. I had to buy the poor guy his own broom.

1. Laziness - After all the cleaning, activities and visits, there is nothing better than winding the day down with pajamas, a glass of chardonnay and a good book (or a vampire DVD). I have no brain power left for cleverness or writing.

I am not going to bore you with promises about how this is going to change or that I am going to be giving away something awesome soon to get back the followers that have just given up on me. Frankly, I don't blame them. I can promise you I am going to go out there and try and have a ridiculously good summer and from time to time I will be back to write about it. I hope you all do the same!!!