Friday, July 24, 2009

The 3 Year Old A-hole

I probably won't be winning any sensitivity awards with that title, but you have to admit, that somewhere along life's path you've met a pre-schooler you who just wanted to give the middle finger to. Maybe this kid lived on your street. Maybe he was your cousin or some kid at school. He probably pushed you down when his mommy wasn't looking and dipped your string cheese into the sand just to get a reaction. He pretends to hand you his toy car to share and then laughs at your crying when he yanks his hand back. Sounds personal, huh? Oh yeah. Noah and I know this kid. His name is Gavin and he's a regular at our park.
To be honest, by nature, I think most preschoolers are jerks. It makes sense that at an age when you have enough understanding to realize you are pretty small and powerless in this huge world, you might want to pick on the very few who are smaller than you (babies, puppies, bugs, etc). So, I am not really blaming the kid. It's up to parents/caregivers to teach more positive ways of feeling control. I won't bore you with examples, because I am sure you've read them in Parents magazine.

Who's to blame then? His parents? Should I pick up the phone and call his mommy? Who wants to get that call that your kid is a holy terror and commits minor violence against other toddlers and seems to get complete joy out of it? I mean, she must have some idea, right?

I think it should be said that I have actually never met the woman. It wouldn't really be a "friendly" conversation. We are strangers. Gavin comes to the park with 3 of his siblings in tow and his poor nanny who looks like she is about to have a nervous breakdown at any moment (the siblings ain't that sweet either). Not that I am saying that his mom working full-time has anything to do with it. I know many awesome kids with working parents. Maybe its the fact that the nanny just isn't equipped to handle that many kids with ummmm difficult personalities? (insert demons).

I have used every "teacher" trick I know, positive praise of Gavin's good behavior, setting a good example with Noah and then praising. When that didn't work I went for the disciplinarian approach and used firm words, " No, Gavin, you do not stand on Noah's legs!" "You do not push babies off the structure!" Sometimes the nanny will hear me (b/c I am shouting it loud enough for her to wake-up and pay attention) and will say, "That's a no-no, Gavin." GAHHHH.

Something needs to be done, though, and soon, because as soon as Noah gets to the park now he peers out from under the safety of his stroller and looks for Gavin. If Gavin is there, Noah says, "No. No. Bye-bye park." That is some power this kid has. Maybe I don't want to meet his parents. I am a little afraid of what the adult version might look like....

For the mean time, Noah has come up with some of his own strategies. When Gavin and Co tried to push Noah out of the sand box today, Noah came right back, sat in the middle and proceeded to take a big poo in his diaper. I guess that's the 18 month old equilavent to a middle finger.

17 comments:

Ethan said...

I just love that you outed him by name. I also love "No. No. Bye-bye park."

Yaya said...

Haha! 'middle finger'! Lol!



I just hate those bullies. They're everywhere. I can't stand when 'that kid' comes over for a playdate with the kids I nanny for. I wanna rip my hair out.

jenn said...

Don't worry. I blogged about wanting to kick a little girl in the face a few weeks ago. Won't win me any awards for sensitivity.

I would never actually DO that, but I wanted to. I don't like bullies, no matter the age. Especially when they mess with my kid. So I understand how you feel. It really makes me angry with the parents. Why don't they do something? I would if Shiloh was bullying someone else.

Inspired By Belle said...

Oh No! Gavin sounds like a terror! It's hard to watch you kiddo get bullied. I know I have had those moments of wanting to give the 4 year old a piece of my mind....but then I remind myself that he is 4, and 4 can be tough. Isabelle had a terror at a bday party last summer. He had it out for her as soon as he saw her. She was a year and a half. He was 4, and kept on throwing sand in her face. It lead to him throwing a basketball at her head and knocking her down, which from the fall she scraped her chin on the way down. I was LIVID. And lucky for me, his dad was there and he and I had quite the exchange. In the end, it is the parents who need to keep a better eye on the their kidlets. Lets hope Gavin does not get worse. Or you may have a melt down like mine.

Erin Largoza said...

I say you should growl real mean at him, with some super fierce eyes. Who would believe him anyway?

I think he needs his comfort level at the park put in check.

Sweet Noah...

Summer said...

How have I missed all these posts of yours?!?

Poor Noah....Lemme at this kid. I wanna kick his butt for scaring my sweet boy.

Candice said...

Aholes come in all different shapes and sizes, don't they? There are definitely some little kids that would have had their little asses kicked by me had it been appropriate for me to do so.

I think when we see our kids have to deal with jerks the mama bear in us come out. At least it does in me.

Hopefully Gavin will take the hint some day. It sucks that your kids fun time is cut short because of a little turd.

Jen said...

Good for you Noah! Poop on his parade

Amy McMean said...

oh no. What a little monster.

Maybe you should "accidently" push his face in the sand and help him get a good mouth full.

I guess thats not a very positive idea LOL

angie said...

Any chance you can get Noah to throw some of that poo at Gavin?

I know plenty of kids (3 years old and beyond) that I wouldn't mind giving the middle finger to. :)

Tiaras said...

oh - just toady at the park I walked up to a little boy who was picking on my son and asked why he was doing that!

Kristin said...

I know many a three year old who have major attitude problems. Unfortunately sometimes my own is one of them. In my defense when he is in a mood we stay home. I hope that Gavin's nanny gets a clue or finds a different park.

Terry said...

Hell hath no fury like a grandma who's grandson is being bullied! Watch out Gavin, grammy TuTu is on her way. We will not be saying bye-bye to the park, cause Noah & I are rock stars and we got our rock on...na na na na naaa na na na naa...oxoxTuTu

Terry said...

Hell hath no fury like a grandma who's grandson is being bullied! Watch out Gavin, grammy TuTu is on her way. We will not be saying bye-bye to the park, cause Noah & I are rock stars and we got our rock on...na na na na naaa na na na naa...oxoxTuTu

Russ said...

Dear Rachel, life is full of bullies. The sooner you know how to deal with them, the better off you are. Thanks Gavin, for giving Noah his first lesson in bullies. Noah, next time throw a snot rocket at him.

Grandpa

Mammatalk said...

Middle finger? I love it!

Em said...

The sad thing is, Gavin is going to be in school one day and learn the hard way that no one wants to be the bully's friend.

That thought should keep you warm at night :-) I know it does for me.

Whoo, whoo, here comes the train to Hell...