The reason behind this caffeine splurge has everything to do with some exciting and overwhelming news. Our little family is moving! In one week we will be the proud owners of our very first home.
I know there is never a good time to move, but boy are the holidays going to be chaotic with a new house. It's Noah's first turkey day and first Christmas, so I have that crazy, "everything must be perfect for him" mentality. Will I be able to put up a tree? How will we get the lights up in time? Where can we find a Santa Suit for Daddy to dawn on Christmans Eve? The holiday anxiety continues despite the fact I know he won't remember any of it. Oh, rational thought, why have you forsaken me?!?
Last night I plopped into bed, exhausted from some pre-packing organization. To my utter dismay, I couldn't fall asleep for four more hours. My mind was involved in what I like to call a "brain blitz" - a spiral of non-productive thoughts and worries that only leads to sleeplessness and unanswered questions.
I closed my eyes and saw the new house. Then I saw the puke-like paint in the family room. I started listing new paint colors and made a mental note to check for low-toxin paint at Home Depot. Then I thought, when will I have time to go to Home Depot, before I do the laundry or after I feed Noah breakfast? What should I feed Noah for breakfast? He has been a bit "plugged-up" so maybe I should try the flax seed oil I read about...but first I should call his pediatrician. Damn, I forgot to schedule his one-year shots. ACK! One year shots! Need to do more research on the MMR vaccination........ By this time 20 minutes of sleep has flown out the window.
Tell me please that this happens to you as well. I will then be comforted in the thought that I am not suffering alone (not in a "nah-nah-nah, schadenfreude sense", but more a "phew, I am not the only crazy one" type of feeling.)
*Note: Wanted to somehow impart that I feel completely blessed that I have a new home to live and make memories in. I don't think I did that very well, so here is the addendum to try and convince myself I am not such a whiny biatch after all.