Is The Love Affair Over?

We've established I can be somewhat fashion challenged. I wish I were a real life stylista like my lil sis Amanda or my friend Summer. Both have an amazing talent for accessorizing. Not only that, but they put together fantastic outfits on a budget. Somehow I missed this gene.

My super-beautiful, devastatingly stylish sister Amanda.

I didn't realize I was lacking in this department until college. There I was surrounded by sorority sisters who gave my tattered Target jeans and old sweatshirts sad looks of disapproval. After a while, I began purchasing jeans which I saw other girls wearing in hope that it would get me "in" with all the cool kids. (Such is the logic of a 19 year old...)


After my first year in college, I saved enough of my summer job earnings and bought my first pair of 7's. I couldn't believe I spent that much on a pair of jeans. It seemed rather ridiculous, but as I stood in front of the mirror I had an epiphany- my thighs actually looked slim! I had finally found a pair of pants that made the freshmen 15 look only like the freshmen 5. It was "beer money" well spent and I wore them like it was my job. They went without washings for DAYS.

My old 7's.

I spent so much time in in college in my 7's, they became almost like a boyfriend. They warmed me when I spent the night sleeping on a a friend's cold couch, they graciously stretched out to fit my hips when I went through my Mac and Cheese months, and they never complained when I spilt beer or wiped my Cheetos fingers on them. Hell, they were BETTER than a boyfriend.


It was all a wonderful affair until I fell in love with Paige. No, Paige was not a Katy Perry, "I Kissed A Girl" college fling, but a pair of fantabulous jeans that give you and an instant butt lift a la Jessica Beil. Those were my official party pants.

After Paige, there was Joe - more specifically Joe's Jeans. I had a long, but casual relationship with Joe. We were together long enough to produce two offspring capri's and a dark bootleg jean I still wear today.


This fall, with the skinny jean trend, I started a new relationship. I have been with "J" Brand for only a few months now, but they have been my most favorite of all. They actually have a zipper up the side of each ankle. How funtastic is that? I thought it couldn't get better than this.

Hillary Duff rocking the J Brand Skinny. Um, no, my legs don't look like that in them, but I still heart them anyways.


Now, please don't tell my fancy jeans, but last week I cheated on all of them. Here's what happened:


I went to Old Navy to pick up some new yoga pants (see, I do save, so take that my Nike and Adidas wearing gym mates). I was already feeling giddy because Noah was with his sitter and I had a Friends and Family 30% off coupon. This must have had me feeling reckless, because on a whim I tried on a pair of jeans. Holy mother of denim - they fit like a glove! They were on sale and with my coupon they would cost me (wait for it....) FIFTEEN DOLLARS. I dropped my overpriced Citizens on the floor and stomped on them - Bad jeans, bad! Bad for making me feel like I needed to spend that much to be cool and fashionable.


I have a new love in my life. It's the Diva pants from Old Navy. If you are in an unhealthy relationship with expensive/oppressive jeans, please, go out and buy some, it will do you a "wealth" of good.