Potty Humor

The War of Extinction (Plus Giveaway Winners)

There is a war going on in my house. A war that we hope will end in extinction. Nope, I am not talking about the extinction of any endangered plant or fuzzy animals, so you can put away your Save the Pandas t-shirt. I am referring the extinction of behavior. I call this behavior The Wheam.

The wheam starts as a small, irritating whine ("coookieeeeee") and when denied develops into a desperate chant ("COOKIE. MAMA. COOKIE. MAMA."). The ignored chant then follows into the "someone must be stabbing me" scream.

The hills are alive, with the sound of Wheaming...

As you can imagine, I want the Wheam to take a hike. It needs to leave soon, or mama is going to resort to wearing earplugs and communicating only through baby signs (or through the door in my padded cell).

So we have gone to war.

So far the wheam is putting up a good fight. In the wheam's armory are volume, repetition and public Mommy embarrassment. All mama has so far is extinction. In behavioral modification, extinction eliminates the incentive for unwanted behavior by withholding the expected response. In other words, Noah starts to whine "cooookieee," Mama ignores. Noah screams and stomps feet, Mama ignores. I may offer him a snack later, when he can ask me in his "sweet voice," but I don't negotiate with the wheam.

Over time, one can hope that continued extinction of the wheam will lead to is eventual disappearance. It's been about a two week battle now and Mama is feeling a little ragged around the edges.

I have, however, called in reinforcements. We are headed to Grandma's next week. Perhaps a change in players and location will change the tides of this battle. I am little suspicious, though, that Grammy and the wheam may be in cohoots....

Because I will be gone on Sept 1, I am announcing the winners now. They are:

Kelly @ Carty Party of Three

Jen @ Buried with Children

Megan @ Megan Goldie

If you lovely ladies could shoot me an email with an address, I will get those sandals off to you soon.

Now back to the trenches.

Wordful Wednesday - Monkey See, Monkey Do

Does your toddler turn into a screaming mess when comes time for a haircut? Do you have to bribe him with cookies just to get him into the seat and the shove them periodically into his crying mouth so that he doesn't throw himself out of the chair? Do you dread the event and sweat through the whole thing?

Yeah. Me too.

I've tried the fancy kid cut places with the fun cars to sit in and the videos. I've tried M&M bribery, which is usually the cure-all for everything. Nothing has worked until now.

On Monday Mama made PAPA go along. PAPA got his haircut first and Noah got to watch. We "clapped" for Papa as he "sat nicely" and oh so still. Bri wore his "this is awesome! cheesy grin" the whole time. Then we cheered for Papa when he got a balloon a the end for "being so good." And all the while said, "So fun! It's Noah's turn next!"

It felt like having to sit through a Barney episode, but man, it worked!

The above pic is my guys sporting their new cuts in the shower. Now they both are mullet-free and Mama is excited to try this new technique with other unhappy events. Hurrah for Papa The Guinea Pig!

WW - What I've Learned From My Toddler

• Coffee is necessary for morning , mommy survival.

(which is related to....)

• It's never too early to throw on a Thomas video.

• You have it. I WANT IT. And don't take too long handing it over.
  

• Cats are quick. The best animals are the ones who are too lazy to run away in fear from you.
  
  

• The best thing about having a cat is that their food is always available in that shiny bowl on the ground. The food doesn't taste too bad. You just have to chew it a lot.

• Can't find your cell phone? Guess who's stuck it in the toilet again?
  
  

• Can't find your wallet? Don't worry, I've cleaned out all that pesky green paper for you. It flushes better than the phone. Whoopee!
  
• The dirtier it is, the better it tastes.
  

• 5 second rule? How about the "as long as i can identify what it once was" rule?
  
• Whoever said "You can never have too much of a good thing," must have been talking about chocolate cookies.
  

• Peeing on the floor is hilarious.

• Peeing in the toilet is for losers. Or for toddlers who will except an M&M bribe.
  
• Keep your friends close and the grandparents even closer. Preferably on speed dial.

• Every day is a gift. (...........well, at least it's an "adventure." :D )
  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks Kat for such a cute prompt. I totally acknowledge that I stole your format. I love the "pics say it all" idea.

100 Sips, A Toast of Thanks

Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance.

- Benjamin Franklin

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It isn't surprising to learn that a quote like this comes from someone who had three kids. Though Ben, I have to wonder if it was actually you who had to wake up with those toddlers. Maybe you should have reconsidered the whole Daylight Savings thing?


But I digress... The purpose of this post is to celebrate, not to complain over sleep we parents will never get back - It's my 100th post on Sippy Cup!

It is in the spirit of Ben's quote that I would like to thank you. Not only can a glass (or two!) of wine help, but it also helps to have the support of the friends I have made here. Your lovely comments have lifted me, made me laugh and helped me get through my first years of mommyhood. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


Thank you also to HH for all that you have done to help me with this blog. From taking Noah to the park (the beach, the hardware store, etc) so I could write, to helping me with technical issues. You certainly are my best friend with benefits.


For busy moms and followers who are still checking in from time to time, I would like to offer you a chance at relaxation as well. No, I am not sending you a case of "2 Buck Chuck." :) On Sept 1, I am giving away a pair of comfy Islander Sandals to 3 randomly picked followers who leave me a comment on this post with your color and size preference.


Feel free to wear them and sip your Chardonnay. And if it has to be out of a covert sippy cup at the park, so be it.


Cheers!
Rachel

It's the Climb

What do you think of our toddler landing pad?

HH and I returned late last night from our 5 day trip. A vacation filled with cool breezes, refreshing drinks and warm sand. A trip........(wait for it)..... WITHOUT THE KID. Now I won't go into the details of the loveliness of our time together, but you parents out there understand, even a trip to Walmart without a toddler can be relaxing, and we had pina coladas....

Not too surprising, however, is the fact that I did miss our little man quite a bit. We are best buds and hang out every day, so its a little spooky not to have my shadow around. I knew though, he was in fantastic care with my mom (Grammy Tutu) and Noah was going to love every minute of her visit. (This didn't stop me from calling twice a day just to sing Twinkle Twinkle to him.)

On our flight home I was thinking, "ah, I am so very relaxed, I am ready for whatever the week ahead has in store. I will meet challenges with a calm and cool head (insert not pull my hair and count to ten under my breath). Nothing will frustrate me. I am the ocean. I am serenity." Here it should be mentioned that we were flying over where a hurricane was supposed to land the next day. Foreshadowing much?

After crashing into bed later that night, it seemed like only moments until 4am when violent screams erupted from Noah's room. HH and I went running and the cats high tailed it under the bed. When we got to the room my mom had her hand over her heart and was saying," Thank you God. Thank you. I was worried it had happened again." From the picture above I am sure you can imagine what that "it" is. My newly 19 month old has discovered he can obtain freedom from his baby jail (crib) by hurdling his body over the side.

Now I know I am just one of millions of mommies with this problem, but sheesh, the Mederma for Kids is still drying from his last "discovery." Couldn't I have a few more months?Until then, I will continue to pad the inside of our house with whatever I can find. It has begun to resemble a mental asylum. Crazy person included.

Serenity indeed.

The 3 Year Old A-hole

I probably won't be winning any sensitivity awards with that title, but you have to admit, that somewhere along life's path you've met a pre-schooler you who just wanted to give the middle finger to. Maybe this kid lived on your street. Maybe he was your cousin or some kid at school. He probably pushed you down when his mommy wasn't looking and dipped your string cheese into the sand just to get a reaction. He pretends to hand you his toy car to share and then laughs at your crying when he yanks his hand back. Sounds personal, huh? Oh yeah. Noah and I know this kid. His name is Gavin and he's a regular at our park.
To be honest, by nature, I think most preschoolers are jerks. It makes sense that at an age when you have enough understanding to realize you are pretty small and powerless in this huge world, you might want to pick on the very few who are smaller than you (babies, puppies, bugs, etc). So, I am not really blaming the kid. It's up to parents/caregivers to teach more positive ways of feeling control. I won't bore you with examples, because I am sure you've read them in Parents magazine.

Who's to blame then? His parents? Should I pick up the phone and call his mommy? Who wants to get that call that your kid is a holy terror and commits minor violence against other toddlers and seems to get complete joy out of it? I mean, she must have some idea, right?

I think it should be said that I have actually never met the woman. It wouldn't really be a "friendly" conversation. We are strangers. Gavin comes to the park with 3 of his siblings in tow and his poor nanny who looks like she is about to have a nervous breakdown at any moment (the siblings ain't that sweet either). Not that I am saying that his mom working full-time has anything to do with it. I know many awesome kids with working parents. Maybe its the fact that the nanny just isn't equipped to handle that many kids with ummmm difficult personalities? (insert demons).

I have used every "teacher" trick I know, positive praise of Gavin's good behavior, setting a good example with Noah and then praising. When that didn't work I went for the disciplinarian approach and used firm words, " No, Gavin, you do not stand on Noah's legs!" "You do not push babies off the structure!" Sometimes the nanny will hear me (b/c I am shouting it loud enough for her to wake-up and pay attention) and will say, "That's a no-no, Gavin." GAHHHH.

Something needs to be done, though, and soon, because as soon as Noah gets to the park now he peers out from under the safety of his stroller and looks for Gavin. If Gavin is there, Noah says, "No. No. Bye-bye park." That is some power this kid has. Maybe I don't want to meet his parents. I am a little afraid of what the adult version might look like....

For the mean time, Noah has come up with some of his own strategies. When Gavin and Co tried to push Noah out of the sand box today, Noah came right back, sat in the middle and proceeded to take a big poo in his diaper. I guess that's the 18 month old equilavent to a middle finger.